On The Road To Destruction

A testimony of deliverance from drug and alcohol abuse

I was born in Toledo, Ohio, on September 30, 1969. At the time neither one of my parents attended a church of any kind. They were married April 7, 1969. My dad attended a Pentecostal church from the age of twelve until he was sixteen. While there, he received the Holy Ghost in a tent meeting. My mother was brought up in an Oneness Apostolic Church until the age of eight. At the age of twenty-two, while on a visit to one of the saints of that church, God filled my mother with the Holy Ghost and she was baptized in the Name of Jesus Christ. In 1971 she felt a desperate need to serve the Lord and began attending a oneness church in Toledo. Approximately six months later, my dad followed, and they both began to live for God with all of their hearts. They both were re-filled with the Holy Ghost, and he was baptized in the name of Jesus.

 

To continue with my story, my younger brother and I attended church regularly, and I attended a Christian school for the fourth and fifth grades. I prayed for the Holy Ghost but never received it. In 1977, my dad left the church, divorced my mother, and sent much confusion into our household. As two young boys who both loved their parents, we were torn between the two. I wanted to be with my dad, and my brother didn’t want to leave mom alone. Divorce is so messy!

 

Through the next few years, a lot of fighting took place and my dad promised me that if I would go to live with him I could do pretty much what I wanted, such as letting my hair grow as long as I wanted, and not having to go to church. Being young and caring more about what the world and my peers had to say, I decided to live with him. After a long and drug-out court and custody battle, the court ruled in my favor. The divorce was hard on all involved, but my mom stayed faithful to God until 1982 when she walked away from the Lord.

 

When I was about nine, I started to experiment with cigarettes. I thought it was cool and made me fit in with kids I hung around with. Then sometime during the fifth grade I started experimenting with marijuana with---believe it or not---some of the other youth at the church. I wanted to fit in and I spent a lot of time crying myself to sleep over the divorce. The marijuana was the only thing that I thought could help me deal with my situation at the time. Then, going back to public school in the sixth grade, I found more people that were getting high, so my use grew more and more.

 

By the time I was in the seventh grade, I was doing downers and uppers along with smoking weed. This continued until the summer of 1986. One day, I was sitting around, wondering what I was going to do with my life and how I was going to make a living. I was going to graduate in a few months. I decided to join the U. S. Marine Corps. Now, I realized that a Marine couldn’t get high, but I remembered all the stories my dad told me about Marines drinking a lot, so, I started the drinking stage of my life.

 

Experts have said that drinking is in your genes, but I started my own genetics if the experts are correct. I started drinking everyday through the summer of 1986. At first I couldn’t drink a lot: I’d go home after a night out and throw up. Instead of listening to my body and stopping, I continued the routine every night until I didn’t throw up anymore. Then I began increasing the amount that I consumed to the point that I built my tolerance up so much that I was drinking more than most people. I thought I was cool.

 

I ended up joining the Marines, but found myself getting into trouble because I drank too much---even for the Marines. Here is a list of the drinking offences I committed:

 

·        DUI—Okinawa, Japan—1988

·        DUI—North Carolina—1989

·        DUI—North Carolina—1989

·        DUI—Toledo, Ohio—1991

·        DUI—Toledo, Ohio—1994

·        Reckless Operation—Rossford, Ohio—1996

 

Due to my poor behavior, the Marines didn’t want me; and I didn’t want to be in the Marines anymore. After leaving the Marines, I continued drinking and started using drugs at the same time.

 

In the midst of all this, something amazing began to happen. As I would sit in a bar, the presence of God would suddenly move over me. It would scare me so much that I would drink even more until I didn’t know what I was doing. All along, whenever I sobered up, the guilt would start to play on me for what I was doing. I would drink even more to run from my feelings and myself.

 

In 1991 a little girl was born to my girlfriend and me. I did the only thing I knew how to do: run. I finally came to my senses and married her mother in 1992. In 1994, we had another baby. Just before she was born I was busted with a lot of marijuana and cocaine. I was charged and convicted with aggravated trafficking and trafficking in Drugs. I served my time and did probation.

 

I thought things were going good until one day in 1998 my wife served me with divorce papers. Here we go with the word “divorce” again, but this time my kids were the ones who would have to go through it. This really hurt me inside and caused the drug and alcohol use to become more intense because I kept trying to cover and run from my feelings. Here I was, going through the divorce that I caused, still hanging out with people that I thought were cool, and still hurting the ones that I really loved.

 

After being up continuously for a few days and still partying, some things happened; and I found myself in trouble again with the police. This time being charged and convicted with weapon under disability, I spent four months locked up and two months with out treatment. During this time I made an attempt to go to church, but it only lasted a few weeks.

 

Then, on June 1, 2000, I meet my present wife. From the day and moment we met, I told her that it was fate. I didn’t know why at the time, but looking back now, it was God’s way of starting my turn towards him. First, though, there was another wrong turn I would make. Somewhere in my past, probably in 1995, I was introduced to Meth.

 

In 2001 I received a drug abuse charge and conviction for Meth. All this time, the drinking and the drugs were getting worse. On May 13, 2002, in a blackout, I forgot what was going on. After waking from a nap, the drugs and jealousy took over and became violent against my wife. I was charged and convicted of domestic violence against the only woman I have ever truly loved. I served time for this offense. When some more time had passed, she and I worked things out with one stipulation that either I stopped drinking or I would lose her!

 

As of May 16, 2002, I have not touched a drop of alcohol since (all praise and glory to Jesus). I was still doing drugs and selling them during this whole time. I didn’t have a regular job and I was looking to make more money. The people that I was dealing with ask me if I wanted a promotion (beginning of 2003). Instead of selling (I would have to stop), they wanted me to transport. After thinking on this for a while and doing some research and planning, I agreed to the promotion. After one trip was made, my wife (my girlfriend at the time) and I took a trip to Fresno, CA, in the truck. While we were there we went looking for some cocaine, and the jealousy rose up in me once again. She left me in a motel room and took off. I didn’t know anyone, or where she might be; but the next afternoon I found her at the Greyhound bus station getting on a bus for Houston, Texas. I was devastated beyond belief.

 

While I was in that motel room for the next two days, waiting on a load back home, I began to pray. Not knowing how to really pray, I just told God that I believe that he had put us together for whatever reason; and if that were true, then he would bring us back together. I got a load back to Toledo and left California.

 

Anywhere from two weeks to a month went by, and the phone rang. It was my girlfriend. Her dad had had a heart attack and asked me if she could come home. I thanked God for the answered prayer and flew her home. Her dad recovered, and I still had not had anything to drink. On May 29, 2003, she and I went to Las Vegas and got married.

 

Now I’m getting ready to do the third trip for my ruthless employers; and unexpectedly God audibly spoke to me and said, “IT’S NOW OR NEVER—THE END’S AT HAND!” It shook me so bad that I dropped to my knees and said, “Lord, You know where I am, and what I’m doing, and who I’m involved with. If you will keep me safe; and bring me back, my life is yours! Everything I have, and all that I am is yours.” I went on the trip, and on the way back I put down all the drugs and cigarettes; and the Lord delivered me from them all with no withdrawals! Glory is to Jesus!

 

But, just when you think the story is over and will end happily ever after, the flesh raises up! God brought me back safe and sound, but when I called the people to tell them that I was done, they asked me if I could still transport their money. Without even thinking I said, “Yes.” (This was approximately July 6, 2003!) As soon as I hung up the phone, I cried out to God, “How can I serve you if I am still working for them?”

 

By this time, I was going to church and seeking the Holy Ghost and trying to learn all God wanted me to learn. On July 20, 2003, I was baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of my sins. Up to this point my wife had not ever been to a church, let alone an Apostolic Pentecostal church. So, one Sunday morning, she attended for the first time. Sunday night, she went back again. Afterwards she wouldn’t talk to me for two days; all she did was cry. Then, one Saturday night I was going to prayer service, she said that the whole family needed to go, so we all went. (By the way, once I came to the Lord, my mother gave her heart and life back to Jesus and was refilled as well!)

 

On August 10, 2003, during the service, a wonderful lady in the church sang a solo. From the first note to the last note, God filled me with the Holy Ghost! At the altar call, while I was looking for this lady to tell her that God had filled me, another sister in the Lord came over to me. She said that my wife wanted me to call my mother because she wanted her there when she was baptized in the name of Jesus. Why? Because God had filled her with the Holy Ghost during the altar call! Now, we not only share the anniversary of our wedding day but also of the new birth! Exciting things had begun in my  family. Then the Lord filled my wife’s nine-year-old daughter with the Holy Ghost on August 31, 2003. The Lord is so great and greatly to be praised!

 

Right after this, God performed a genuine miracle for me. Phone calls started coming from the drug people. They wanted their money. I informed them that I didn’t want to do that anymore, but they threatened me with things that they would do if I didn’t continue to work for them. I kept praying about it. One Friday night at 3:00 AM, the phone rang. The voice on the other end said, “I don’t know who you talked to, or how you did it; but you are free and clear of your obligation.” Praise the Lord! I trusted in Him, and He has never let me down!

 

Since then many things have tried to get me down and cause me to go back to the world, but there I know that there is nothing out there for me. A short time after the new birth experience, I felt strangely impressed that I would preach the gospel. I immediately told myself that I could never preach because of my past, and, besides, I had never been a public speaker in my life. I sat on this feeling and tried to make it fade away. I continued to pray, telling God that I wanted to be used of Him in anyway that he would use me. Three more times, this impression that I would preach came to me, each time getting stronger and stronger. I tried to pass it off as just myself. The fifth time that this happened I realized that this might actually be the answer to the prayers that I had been praying. I went to the Lord; and asked that if this was Him that He would direct my steps and give me the courage to do what He has called me to do.

 

I talked to a minister on the staff about what was going on. He gave me some advice. This had been going on about ten months. When I returned home that night, I went onto the church organization’s web site and found the reading list for ministers. After looking at this list, I realized that I had already been reading two of the books on the list. Two different people that didn’t know anything about what I was thinking had given the two books to me.

 

Then I talked with my pastor. He told me to continue walking in the light as the Lord provides. So as time went by, I continued to pray on this and to read the books on the list.

 

One night another brother approached me at church and asked me if I was going to the jail ministry seminar in Columbus, Ohio. I attended the seminar and while I was there, I heard him telling a story, and I believe the Lord impressed upon me that the reason for me to get a minister’s license was to open doors to people that would not be opened any other way.

 

Another time while I was at the altar, this same brother was praying with me. He told me that the Lord had impressed upon him that the Lord was going to use me in some way. Everything has not yet been fulfilled, but I am gaining ground every day. The Lord continues to direct my steps and sheds more light on my path as each day goes by. I continue to pray and fast and to seek God’s direction for my life. It is so hard to get what I feel and believe that the Lord has called and shown me onto paper; but as I try, I do know that the Lord is in control and all things will work out for His glory. I know that when I’m not doing something for the Lord Jesus Christ, or talking about Him, I don’t feel complete. The Lord has called me for something, and I am determined to allow Him to have His way in my life.

 

Signed: Walking in the LIGHT!